Who's real, who's fake?
Who bothers, who don't?
Who is who?
Why did i fall into this hollow space, why is life not going my way?
These questions made me kept thinking.
Define true mates?
Treat others like how you want them to treat you?
Why are humans the same?
Why won't we feel guilty about how we treat others?
Is there any ways we can treat each other nice?
Why are there so much pretence in this world?

I thought you are genuine not phony.
I thought you cared.
I thought you are you.
I thought i was walking on a plane platform, & life is going smoothly.
I thought they should be true to each other.
I thought they were suppose to gossip together not about each other.
I thought they find out the truth before they critic.
I thought get so bothered they try and resolve the problems.
I thought they wouldn't be petty towards each other.

You believe that I should treat others like how i want them to treat me.
I did as you told.
But i never got treated the same way.
In fact, i was treated badly, sadly.
Never faked, never tittle-tattled.
Truth is the truth, humans never change, humans do chitchat, alot.
But will we ever feel guilty doing it, no. We enjoyed saying more, because we know everyone is on our side so there will never be a time you will get backfired. Nothing will go wrong in our lives, those--- the accepted ones.
Only when I'm treated the same way, i will know how the ones i chitchatted about felt. They cannot impede what I love to do.
I ONLY treat my best friend nice, but once a clash occurs, I treat my so-called best friend worse than i ever thought.
Pretence is always presense. All that were present are pretence.

I'm confused, but i'm trying to be stronger, to take all these scandals,
to accept the reality, to feel belong when i'm with myself.
To accept sardonic remarks is not easy, just face it.

So what if we weep bitterly, such things cannot be salvaged, it only gets worser & worser.
Never trust me at the beginning, never trust me even right till the end,
because i'm utterly bad, extremely horrid.

Me, who admire your strengths.
Me, who admire your ability to forget.
Me, who admire you living happily-ever-after with your one and only beloved.
Me, who admire your ways to deal with misery.
Me, who admire & want to learn after you.
However,
i can't be you,
i'm me.


This is me, and my life.
Live your life, forget woes, live in contentment, not agony, to
my friends, my love, my beloved ones--if i ever do have.